girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
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Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
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