oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
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