Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
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