Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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