your room smells of hookers.
And success
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
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