I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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