"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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