Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
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i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
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You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
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