Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
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