i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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