This is not my ceiling
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize