Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize