I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize