ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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