cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
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I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
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First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
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