i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Someone came in the potted fern
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
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