I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
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