i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize