I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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