$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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