We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize