i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize