He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize