my phone needs a breathalizer
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
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