just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
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