My sheets look like a crime scene.
True but thats because hes a fetus.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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