I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
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