I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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