a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize