OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize