found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
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I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
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Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
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