i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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