it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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