yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
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i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
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The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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