I wish my penis had an off switch
i would punch a child for taco bell
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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