i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize