That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
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