It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
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Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
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She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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