literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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