i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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