i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
my being single is dangerous.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
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