Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
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I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone came in the potted fern
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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