I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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