There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
accomplished twins. life is a go
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize