Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
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