He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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