My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize