3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize