Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Randomize