My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
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Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
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Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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