It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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