last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
Randomize